meditation for marriage #2

I remember going to a youth 2000 retreat where the opening speaker (Fr. Avram) asked what the word "retreat" meant to us. The definition of "retreat" that came to mind was 3 days of sleeping on a cot and eating red pasta while hearing talks about God and re-focusing our lives as needed. Well, evidently I had been working in youth ministry for too long, because he went on to describe a "Braveheart" like military scene with one army charging forward and the other running, screaming, back to their bunker to re-group.

Another "defining" memory in my marriage was very much the "military" definition of retreat. You see, my husband is a planner and a dreamer. He likes to get EVERYONE's input on things. We were going through life. Life was beating us down from all angles. He was getting input. I was getting input. All the "helpful" input was creating more division between us. We were not focused together to conquer all the obstacles that life threw at us. We were not focused on God's will for us. Then, we heard the scream, "RETREAT!!!!"

This was not a "Oh, 'let's take a little 3-day mini-vacation and listen to God's word and re-focus our lives whenever it fits into our schedule" This was a STOP! LEAVE THIS BEHIND! GO RE-GROUP!

At the time it may have seemed like we had our priorities out of whack. It may have seemed as if we were running away form the world, and in a sense we were. It was not an easy choice to make. I quit my job. We had no money, but we left town with no destination. We knew we wanted to drive toward places that were spiritually healthy for us - and we did. We talked and prayed on the drive. I had my opinions and goals, He had his opinions and goals, but what we were lacking was the third party in out marriage. We found Him. We both conceded. We came home united and ready to conquer the world, together.

It was probably the MOST defining moment in our marriage (thus far).

If you retreat you may lose a battle, but not the war.